This time of year can be a difficult one for medical spouses – the days grow shorter as the temperature drops, your spouse settles into busy hospital life, and you may find yourself still adjusting to a new city while facing a holiday season without friends or family nearby. Things can get downright gloomy, and this is a great time to remember give yourself some TLC. Here are just a few suggestions:
Pick a new TV series to watch – some of our favorites are Breaking Bad, The Wire, True Detective, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, Orange Is the New Black, and House of Cards, or try one of the 10 TV Shows You Should Binge-Watch this November.
Grab a cup of tea or coffee, or some to take home with you – we love the "bumble bee with a buzz" at Coffee Emporium, or try Awakenings, Reality Tuesday, Churchill’s Fine Teas, Bonbonerie, or Yesterday’s Café and Tea Room.
Post on the RSA Facebook page – see if anyone wants to get out of the house and join you for a meal or drink! Or, find our next event and put it on your calendar.
Wander around one of the many museums your city has to offer – visit Museum Center, the Cincinnati Art Museum, the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center, the Taft Museum of Art, the Cincinnati Fire Museum, the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame & Museum, the American Sign Museum, 21c Museum Hotel, or take a road trip to the Creation Museum in Hebron, KY.
Treat yo’ self! Head to Rookwood, Kenwood, or the outlet malls for a little retail therapy. Visit Servatii, Jean Paul’s Paradiso, Holtman’s, Bonomini, Tres Belle Cakes, or BonBonerie to satisfy your sweet tooth. Schedule a massage at Massage Envy or Woodhouse, or get your nails done at Ambiance or Blue Ash Nails. Find out what's playing at the Esquire, Kenwood, Mariemont, Oakley Station or Newport on the Levee movie theaters. Score some tickets to a Xavier basketball game or go see the Cincinnati Cyclones play some ice hockey!
Finally, if you’re really having a hard time try asking yourself the following questions:
Are you hydrated? If not, have a glass of water.
Have you eaten in the past three hours? If not, get some food - something with protein, not just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts or hummus?
Have you showered in the past day? If not, take a shower right now.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day? If not, do so right now. If you don't have the energy for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please. If it's too cold, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip. Consider emailing us to join our FitBit challenges!
Have you said something nice to someone in the past day? Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.
Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days? If not, do so. Don't be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends' pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you're not imposing on them.
If daytime: are you dressed? If not, put on clean clothes that aren't pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it's a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep? Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and close your eyes for fifteen minutes. If you're still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.
Do you feel ineffective? Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it's responding to an email, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip. Good job!
Have you over-exerted yourself lately - physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually? That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it's physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.
Have you waited a week? Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can't even tell that we're not thinking clearly, and there's no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week and see if you still feel the same way then.
Think you need to seek professional help? Don't be ashamed to reach out! Contact your PCP to get the ball rolling - if you don't have one, find one. Check to see if you have access to an employee assistance program through your place of employment or through your spouse, call one of the local mental health clinics, or reach out to clergy.